Get your husband to take you out for a nice meal. You may not want to eat and feel like a bloated, semi-decomposed moose, but you are not. going. out. for. a. long. time. when. baby. arrives. (You may be thinking, “No shit!”, but ya really have no idea until IT HAPPENS!)

Take care of yourself and keep us updated!

Thank you thank you thank you

Colic is 2 things.
1) “Reflux”. The wee flap at the top of your stomach is often not quite formed when sprog is born. This means that when they’re on their side (eg: when they try to sleep), all this appalling stomach acid starts leaking in to the tube just above it, and it HURTS like fuckery. And it takes a while to grow fully. The Chinese have a phrase for the first three months of life: “The hundred days crying”. It can be bad!! Food that’s too acidic in breasty Mum just makes life even worse! Note: it’s likely that most babies get this a tiny bit, so the NHS does tend to suck its cheeks in a little if you start phoning them up and bandying the “Reflux” term around. It can be really appalling though, for those who really suffer badly, and there’s a bunch of different stuff you can do but if it *does* occur, having self-diagnosed, you absolutely must get it checked out professionally because, well. Pretty obvious really. Babies aren’t quite the delicate flowers that they look, but they still need careful help!
2) When a baby’s born, it hasa no digestive system. The digestive system is not simply the plumbing, but the bacteria that lives in it, and breaks down food. Over the first week or so, the breastmilk that goes in, tends to come straight back out again. This is why most babies are born swathed in babyfat! So breastmilk tastes alot like melted ice cream – it’s chock full of sugars. Perfect for breeding bacteria by the billion. Hooray! But it takes time to build up. In the meantime, babies suffer indigestion and gross farting, painful burping (that brings acid up the pipe) – all very nasty stuff.

So. That’s the background. Now, what to do about it!

1) Go to a health food store and buy an infant friendly pro-biotic, non-dairy powder from the fridge. *Loads* of decent companies do them. The one I used for James was 1 gram of powder, dissolved into a bit of expressed milk every day, and I kept it going with him for at least a couple of months. Basically, you’re loading their gut with all that “good bacteria” from the ads, and bob’s your uncle – a flourishing guy flora weeks and weeks before it would do normally. Plus, it’s genuinely ok to do – you can get bacterial drops from the makers of Infacol. However, these work out ridiculously expensive compared to a bottle of powder.

Whilst this does its wonderful work, symptoms will still occur. The *by far* best thing you can do for your poor, sad little muncho is to wear them in a wrap, so that they’re able to sleep but not horizontal, and it helps to start getting them in to a schedule, instead of the dreadful horror that is a colicky baby screaming, and screaming until 10 or 11 at night until they basically pass out with exhaustion. It’s absolutely abysmal for everyone concerned.
The wrap that I used was called the “Huggabub” but there are a ton of similar ones around. Having a good tight one to the body is really great, particularly for early babies because when you think about it, they’ve just been in this really tight bag that presses them up against your heart beat for the greater part of their lives thus far. You do an artificial version, bob’s your Uncle and little’un feels 200% better.

They used to say that all the remedies you give to colicky babies might do a tiny amount of good, but ultimately it just gets better of its own accord. Not any more. Non-dairy probiotic bacteria powder – it fucking rocks.

Now. Not all babies get colic! But, should it happen, you can now consider yourself armed with the good stuff. Infacol and that kind of stuff – it only treats the symptoms. Pro-biotic powder: gets to the cause.

Thanks Cait!

First week or so of feeding, babies have a sort of moratorium onn developing colic whilst you sort yourself out, but I would serious hold off on anything too uniformly fibrous (dhall) and definitely anything spicey (curries!) until you’ve sussed whether sproggo’s going to get colic.

Colic is appalling for all concerned, and I could go in to a lot of detail on it given that Nora got it 14 days after birth – James it was a week. Meanwhile, my reading and understanding led to nora having it for three months (ie: first baby, no information – absolutely dreadful for everyone, worst of all, my lovely Nor, who of course, was awake screaming with pain at all hours of the night, and day) whereas James had it literally for 1 week. not because it wore off, but because I fought tooth and nail to overcome it.

Will happily pass on all information and I’d rather do that before she gets it than after – hence the food recommendations for starters, but can give you a point by point list of how to cope with it.

An ex-fish & friend Bettina ate nothing but white fish, cauli and boiled potatoes for 3 months with one of her kids. It may sound shit, but believe me, the alternative is bloody awful!

I helped Nora to get colicky by eating a Xmas nut roast. Everything had been going swimmingly till then. It was so delicious I ate a second helping. Next day, Nora was in agony and it just got worse from there. Bleg.