Tired and emotional

Today is the big day!  Well, you know, in theory.  Today I am officially 40 weeks pregnant, which means today is my due date.  Around 5% of babies are actually born on their due date though, so I’m not holding my breath.

This week I am really tired, and feeling quite emotional – pretty anxious, and if I’m honest, scared.  On Monday I went to my usual midwife’s appointment and my midwife couldn’t feel the baby’s head, it was so far down in my pelvis.  This is quite unusual, so to double check it was that far down and not actually popped out and somewhere in my back, I got sent for a special positioning scan in the fetal assesment unit at hospital.  They confirmed that yup, she’s just *really* engaged, if there was a measurement of more than 5/5 engaged she’d be that one!

This is good news as far as labour goes, means she’s ready and totally in the right position.  However, for me it’s not so good – I have been developing SPD (http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/antenatalhealth/physicalhealth/pelvicpain/) and it’s now at the point where I’m nearly in tears at night when I turn over, or have to get up in the night for my 3 or 4 toilet trips   Also, getting up and down off the sofa is very sore, and I take about 2 minutes to adjust to standing up.

This has left me pretty much housebound, and often in pain throughout the day, so I’m starting to feel very isolated and nervous about how much more painful it can get – afterall, it’s getting worse everyday and I still have in theory, 2 weeks I could go overdue… Hmm!

Not seeing anyone for the last few weeks has been quite hard too, I wasn’t really prepared for being totally stuck at home, and watching everyone else from inside my little bubble.  I’m looking forward to when she’s out and people will come and visit.

Lastly, the midwives told me on Monday and Tuesday that she is over the 9lb mark now, and that has scared me too.  “They” say that bigger babies are easier to push out, but from where I’m sat it just sounds a bit terrifying that something that’s getting bigger by the day and already considered a “big baby” has to come out of me still.  She could be over 10lbs if she stays in for another week or two.

Sorry for the moany and anxious post, but it’s a real reflexion of how I’m feeling right now, and I wanted to try and keep this as an open record to my thoughts during the pregnancy.